I've been MIA from this blog for a while. I haven't had the will nor the energy to write about anything interesting... but it seems that things are changing slowly. So I'm gaining the will and interest to write about little things here and there. Plus this is probably one of the only channels to escape utter boredom at work without getting an annoying call from upper-management. It looks like I'm typing something which I don't need to type and that I'm at a computer console being productive. Good thing the resolution on the security cameras suck... that and the IT guy really doesn't check what we're doing on company internet.

Anywho, I'm working for another cell-phone dealer. It's really really slow. Sometimes it's hours before a customer comes in, wether it be a bill payment or an actual activation. Apparently companies make quite a good chunk of change off of renewing cell-phone contracts. So much so, that companies like Radio-Shack which switched their focus to cell-phone sales have turned their profits margins into something positive. I'm the guy on the bottom line for an indirect dealer. Come see me about signing your life away for two years!

So, the complaining about the job really doesn't help in the end. It's just something to do with my unutilized brain waves... I make like eight dollars an hour plus commission. However, the commission is delayed SIXTY days. So it's like working a minimum wage job with a little bonus after sixty days. That's a long time to wait for your hard earned money. It's made off of upgrades, new activations, adding on data plans and selling accessories. And my god, do I push for the accessories. Because the total sales gross profit made off of the accessories is a number one is hounded on like it's the end of the fucking world. And it is in a sense for the accessories manager who's getting paid significantly more than I am to purchase this junk in bulk and then forced to convince us salesmen to pass it off as something absolutely required and needed by customers.

Yeah, I'm totally jaded by this whole sales process. I'm not even scratching the surface of how lame and detailed people have thought about this stuff. But in the end customers are so hit and miss the shit that we were trained with doesn't apply. It all boils down to the fickle nature of the consumer. This preconceived list of awesome or targeted features doesn't mean dick to the mom that wants a red flip phone. If I don't have that phone, it's like I mine as well not even try after I find out that's what she wants.

That brings me to another thing: having phones in stock. More often than not, I try and sell a phone we don't have in physical stock. Sucks. Because I just made that person FEEL LIKE THEY NEED THIS PHONE. But they can't have it right now cause the company isn't affluent enough to have a constant supply of said 629 dollar phone. Double edged sword there. Either risk not selling a hundred 629 dollar phones, or risk not having enough 629 dollar phones. You're losing money both ways and there's no clear medium for maximizing profit. The inventory manager that orders phones probably just guesses.

The upper management solution for that is ordering phones. But in this society of instant gratification, who the fuck wants to wait for a phone to be shipped? I have the money for it and I want it NOW. People just arent't willing to wait. They're already paying a premium for coming into my store so I set up everything for them. So they sure as hell aren't going to pay to wait for their cheap shitty phone. The point is, there's six other stores within driving distance that more than likely have the phone as well and probably at a cheaper price with less customer service.

OH! Let's talk about the arcane nature of mail-in rebates. As I mentioned before, America is an instant gratification society. We want shit now, and we want it fast. Screw the impact on the environment and shipping costs, not my problem when I have a wad of cash burning a hole through my pocket begging to be wasted. Who the hell uses the postal service to send money nowadays? The companies that have it right on this mail in rebate business are Best Buy and RadioShack. They cut their bottom line to such a minimum that they just instantly give you the rebates on the phones. Not third party dealers and corporate stores though. They MAKE you send the rebate in. Know how long it takes to get your 50 or 100 dollar rebate? 10 to 14 weeks. And you better have sent that fucker in filled out exactly right with the right forms, or they're not giving you shit.

I think mail-in rebates are just an elaborate scheme to target lazy people. Because if I don't fill out the form for the customer, I think probably 60% of the customers don't fill out and send the damn thing. Seriously though, whoever thought of that shit was a genius. "Want a way to be able to list things for a hundred dollars less without getting sued for false advertisement and have the customer still pay the difference? Just advertise the product as free AFTER 100$ mail in rebate. Just pay 100 dollars plus tax today! But advertise that shit as FREE!"

Thank you random mail-in rebate guy, for screwing people. There's a special circle of hell for you. "Circle of hell for people that have a way of indirectly lying to people..." I also have to cheesily say, "And this phone is FREE! *After 100 dollar mail in rebate cough cough*" Hope you like constant flaming death and the company of other false advertisement assholes.

-Whew- That felt good. But not really, because I'm going to have to say 99 dollars after mail-in rebate at least three times today.

Also, what to buy for lunch? What do I get to waste an hour of pay on today? The cost of living is complete dicks dudes. This post is dedicated to my new pal, Tay. And also to the letter "I," which stands for the internet. You are an entity that is sorely needed by the lower class white collar workers of America. I so can't wait to ride on debt through my remaining years of college to escape this diasporah of dead end jobs and mentally challenged customer service.

So try and digest some of that shit. Clouding your mind like that huge BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Snap! current cultural reference....

Good day gents.